April 8 headlines

Welsh?
So turns out the first one is from some site trying to teach languages. The headlines, real or not, are good attempts at puns or jokes but miss the mark since they either make no sense or say something completely unintended. So I'm going to go ahead and say that wasn't the page to go to for the best headlines of the year.
Okay, so while admittedly the headlines for the astronaut case were largely reaches for puns, the "Dark Side of the Loon" was probably my favorite. But it's also interesting to note that headlines and stories like these treated the story as it should have been treated - an interesting story. It in no way should have been treated like they're saying CBS handled it with serious talks and analysis of NASA. It just didn't connect. Also, these puns and clever headlines should probably be reserved for stories like this one where it makes sense and is appropriate.
... Like the bailout story. It makes no sense to include a clever pun-filled headline for a story about economics.
I will begin with the Chicago stories with a simple question: Why so many quotes in headlines? Are these things actually said, or are we just labeling things now? Also, the comments include someone asking what his eye color is. Photoshop much, Chicago? And I'm with one of the commenters asking what "g-fraud" is. Were headline writers trying to coin a new phrase? Again, really reaching for puns here and rhymes (face of disgrace?).
All in all, bad headlines. If it's a lame story, settle sometimes for a lame (but descriptive and clear) headline.
Fun fact: we actually did a collection of the best headlines from the Eliot Spitzer case a while back, and the best one? Metroland's "I can haz prostitootz?"